Alone in Marriage: Managing with Anger and Worry

Geplaatst op 11-06-2025

For our first Making Love in the Loveawake Book Club pick, we’ve chosen the book Alone in Marriage: Encouragement for the Times When It’s All Up to You by Susie Larson.

Even if you aren’t reading along with us, the book includes some incredibly helpful activities for both husbands and wives that aren’t specific to those who have encoutered a rough time in their marriages. In fact, many of the activities in the first two sections we’ve read, Anger and Worry, could apply to any relationship you are dealing with, whether it be a coworker, a friend, or another relative.

In the first section about anger, Larson talks about the loneliness she feels as her husband continues to take on additional work and projects, putting his family’s emotional needs on the back burner all the while. As she drags the anger over his absence from day to day it allows her love to grow cold for her spouse.

Although anger at many points is natural and expected, lugging it around and never letting go creates space for problems in marriage. She writes:

“Anger is natural, but it needs to be disarmed. Would you dare pack explosives before going to an airport? Packing anger in your spiritual luggage is just as dangerous. It’s easily detected, sets off alarms, and puts people on the defensive.”

This quote stood out to me, because lugging around anger is something I’ve been guilty of in the past without even always recognizng that it was there. Have you ever ruined the opportunity to have a happy, peaceful moment because you were still holding on to an angry moment from before? I know I’m guilty of this.

Another quote that stood out to me was this one, from the “Worry” section.

“How vulnerable it is to think that if your husband drops the ball, he drops you! And yet God’s word says that if you belong to Him, your future rests secure.”

So powerful. As much as we love, trust and support our spouses, because he or she may not be able to meet our need doesn’t mean that we are now somehow lost because of our spouse’s mistake. A husband or wife may fall short at times, that’s what humans do, even despite the best of intentions. But where that partner may have let you down, we can always count on God to fill in the gaps.

Below is an exercise from the book to help you free yourself from marriage worry.

Read Philippians 4:6

a. Write down everything you are worrying about right now.
b. …For every item you listed write out a faith-filled prayer stating God’s faithfulness (e.g. “I thank you Lord, that you are my provider and You guard all that is mine. You will supply all my needs.”).
c. Every time you feel a twinge of worry creep up, determine to stop in your tracks and tell God what you need. Think about the common places and times when you worry. Write down a plan that works for you, one that helps you obey God and refuse worry.
d. Write down everything for which you are thankful

What did you think about the first two sections of the book? Do you think that anger is as dangerous as Larson says it is? Were you able to identify areas of your own life where you may be dealing with anger or worry, and did the activities help you work through them?